April 29, 2011
For God has not given us a spirit of timidity, gut of power and love and discipline.
II Timothy 1:7
Having just returned from a two day trip interior in the Bandundu Province I have been reflecting on the different experiences. One particular experience has really impressed me above the others. Swimming in the Wamba River gave me a whole new respect for the power of flowing water.
I have swum in the Bomba Lumene River and last summer and I even swam in the Wamba River. The Bomba Lumene obviously has a swift current plus branches and rocks to avoid which add to the adventure. The cuts and bruises you receive are the trophies you bring home showing that you enjoyed the ride to the fullest.
Last summer the Wamba was down 3 to 6 feet from its current level so when I attempted to swim I felt like a I barely drifted from sand bar to sand bar. This trip was different. Right away I jumped into the powered boat as Glen Chapman took us up river for a good swim gliding with the current. Having enjoyed clinging to tree branches before as the current fought against me, I tried it on this river. Great fun! It feels a bit like water skiing. Only when I attempted to climb this tree and get out of the water I found the weight of my body and the force of the river pulled way too hard.
After trying for a few minutes John Gorenflo got swept away with a branch that broke. I told Marilyn to go with him and I would stay with their girls. A few seconds after they left I suddenly realized that I was not going to have strength to swim down the river if I continued to fight the current and try to pull myself up. Their two teenage daughters both light weight and strong pulled themselves up into the tree rather quickly. I gave up and drifted down as Marilyn called that they would come back with the boat for the girls.
When we arrived at our island, the sand bar was all under water and all that showed at this time of year was a grassy island, I enjoyed fighting the current once again as we balanced a 27 meter log that had gotten caught in perfect balance at the tip of the island. I enjoyed resting with my dh on the log and watching our daughter, Lydia swim like a fish up and down the log as she fought the current. She did get pulled under the log once but kept right on swimming.
The next day several of us chose to go back out to the island for a good-bye swim before going back to Kinshasa. I made a plan to push Lydia across to the island on the inner tube. She was too short to reach the bottom which the rest of us did to get across to the island. I had found swimming across hadn’t been too bad the day before. When I proceeded to push the inner tube with Lydia in it across the river I discovered that keeping a balance and fighting the force of the river on the inner tube was a terrible fight. I was determined that we would get to the island and play on the log for a while.
Yet about half way my mind and the river began arguing with each other. The river was a constant force, there was no letting up from its pushing against us. There was an easier way, not as fun but Lydia and I could just float down to the lumber yard and climb back around to meet everyone. We wouldn’t get to play on the island with everyone, nor relax in the sunshine but it would be easier. As I let the current take us we continued to fight to get to the island and John and Marilyn came toward us and began giving huge shoves on the inner tube. With the help of friends we made it.
Since we have been back I have been feeling melancholy. I usually love to run for exercise but I just can’t seem to get motivated. I need to study for my summer class but I want to bury myself in a good book. As I sorted through a trunk of Emily’s belongings this morning an old feeling came back to me of wanting to just quit life as I think of my children leaving our nest. I love my children. I have thoroughly enjoyed raising them. At times it felt like eternity and they would never grow up but now that they are leaving I long for those old times. Did I ever think beyond the joys of being a mom to children? Yes, I had thought of it but it seemed so far away. It is so easy to let the current of sadness grab hold of me and carry me away. It may be easier but never as much fun. That mean ugly current may be constant but it is not the best way to go. I am so glad to have friends and my God and Savior who push me along when I want to stop fighting the current. Sometimes we want to give up and let go of the goals set before us. Life gets too hard, too difficult, too sad, but God….
I have found when it gets too hard the best thing I can do is get out the praise music and listen. When it gets a little better my voice can join in the praising. It is a great weapon against that constant current that wants to pull me down.
God’s Spirit has a way of moving us in directions and in ways we never thought we could. Just as when John and Marilyn got behind us and pushed we got to our island. Our own strength cannot stand “against the rulers, against the powers, against the world forces, of this darkness, against the spiritual forces of wickedness in the heavenly places,” (Eph 6: 12) but God has promised that His Spirit stands. Over the years Rod and I have fought against a spirit of depression that tells us to quit, to stop the work we are doing and find something else. Yet by His Spirit we still stand. It is not because of some great ability we have, I cannot say it is even because of greater faith on our part but because of God’s faithfulness we press on toward the goal that God has set before us.
“Not by might nor by power, but by My Spirit,” says the Lord of hosts.
Zechariah 4:6b
